Would you like to gamble that the Brown Line Kedzie stop is open or just take the Montrose bus? You have chosen "Take the Brown Line." It is closed. You have to take the Lawrence bus, and would have saved time just taking the Montrose bus.
Would you like to take the Brown Line or the Red Line? You have chosen the Red Line. While it arrives in a timely manner, you share a train car with Ronnie "Woo-Woo" Wickers, who spends four stops pretty much endlessly going: "Cubs. Woo! Bears. Woo! Cubs. Woo! Bears. Woo!" Also, a gentleman sitting next to you decides to cheer on Mr. Wickers, and starts singing "Bear Down, Chicago Bears" with the lesser-known—or "incorrect"—lyrics: "Bear down, Chicago Bears, we're gonna fight fight fight for victory."
Would you like to stop at the Starbucks near the Lawrence Red Line stop or at Cosi near the Tribune Tower? You have chosen Cosi. You enjoy your Terra Chips and Earl Grey but don't have a nickel for the $5.04 bill, so you have to get $4.96 in change because the lady behind the counter can't shrug off four flippin' cents in the interest of personal convenience for both of you.
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Injury report, the (absolutely gorgeous) Chicago weather report, comment board on the right, auto-refresh should be working now, e-mail me at rstrohl@tribune.com, football soon.
FIRST QUARTER
The ball falls off the tee, prompting my colleague Chris King to say, "Nice start." Rashied Davis takes the kickoff a yard deep and returns it to the 17 or so. Make it the 16 and Thomas Jones gets three on first down. Jones finds a very small hole, cuts back across the field at the first-down marker and gets about five extra past the sticks. Grossman fumbles the snap but falls on it for no loss. Jones gets a great lead block from McKie on 2nd and 10 and is brought down by a shoestring tackle just short of the sticks. Lions linebacker Alex Lewis is down. The Bears have doubled Shaun Rogers a couple times, and Olin Kreutz just sealed him off on that last run. Two tight ends in and Jones gets dropped for a loss and the Bears will do something they didn't do in the first half last week: punt. It goes to the 11, return to about the 20 and a flag is down. Lions held, they'll have 1st and 10 at the 9¾-yard line.
All right, kursukan checking in from Finland. Is Conan O'Brien really all the rage there? I guess I overestimated how far the return went, 'cause the Lions are at the 8¾-yard line. Kevin Jones (hereafter KJ) gets about seven, then gets dropped by Alex Brown for no gain. The Lions shifted illegally, 2nd and 8 from the 11. Kitna drops back, gets stripped by Tank Johnson, Urlacher falls on the ball on about the 3 and the Bears have sweet field position.
Jones gets maybe a yard. Play fake fools pretty much everyone, since it was the first pass play of the game for the Bears, and Grossman finds a wide open John Gilmore for the score. Gilmore was standing alone in the back of the end zone with a five-yard cushion a good 2 seconds before Grossman threw it to him. When he caught the ball, he still had a five-yard cushion. No one on the Lions had any idea what was going on. PAT is good.
Bears 7, Lions 0, 10:11 left in the 1st quarter
Kick to the 12, Eddie Drummond returns it to about the 27, and we go to another commercial. Message board folks yukkin' it up at Roy Williams' expense. And why not? KJ gets a huge hole off-guard left and takes it into Bears territory. The Lions are so unaccustomed to offensive success that they need to call a timeout to figure out what to do next. That was a 29-yard run to the Bears' 41. KJ makes a guy miss in the backfield, darts to the 39, loses the ball and the Bears recover. Ricky Manning Jr. and Lance Briggs celebrate "in an unfair way," 15-yard penalty. I'm not kidding, referee Mike Carey really just said "celebrating in an unfair way." The NFL is dumb.
Grossman checks down to Jason McKie for eight from the 25, then Jones gets 10 to the 43. McKie another great block on that run. Grossman hits a wide-open Desmond Clark for the first down into Lions territory, and he runs down to the Lions' 41. Grossman has about 12 years to throw, finds what should be an open Muhsin Muhammad, but Dré Bly tackled him before the pass came, and he is penalized for that. Jones from the 22 gets a yard, then McKie takes a swing pass in the right flat, knocks Ernie Sims flat and gets to the 14. Quick slant to Muhammad is broken up by nice coverage by Bly and Robbie Gould will attempt a 32-yard field goal. He nails it.
Bears 10, Lions 0, 6:20something left in the 1st quarter
Just Curious, I know this is a little late on the reply, but Ronnie Woo was in the Cubs home white pants with the white jerseys, the blue cap with the blue bill and carrying a Bears helmet. Drummond returns the kick to the 27 but the Lions block in the back, so they'll be at the 10. Kitna finds Williams over the middle for 15 yards, and Williams did a little spin and an exaggerated first-down signal. Again Kitna goes to Williams, this time for 11 yards up the left side, spoiling my prediction of one catch for 15 yards. He does eat a bit of turf as Urlacher brings him down. Kitna passing again, this time over the middle to Marcus Pollard for another first down to the 46. Just as I was about to type about how much time Kitna has had to throw on this drive, the Bears bring the house and Adewale Ogunleye drops Kitna back at the 40. Tight end Dan Campbell twitches, Alex Brown leaps off the line and the Lions move five yards farther back. Kitna from the shotgun gets flushed, finds KJ for a shovel pass that gets to the 45, but someone held and it is now 2nd and 31 from the 25. The overrated Lance Briggs drops a run for only a yard gain. Dump-off on 3rd and 30 gets five, as Briggs is there again. He celebrates fairly both time. The Lions have to punt on 4th and 25, but let's make it 4th and 30 as they false start. How many points are they leaving on the field? I'd say exactly how many they've scored so far. Nick Harris shanks the punt, but it gets a huge Lions bounce and Devin Hester makes a veteran play in not trying to do anything with it. It rolls to the 28 where it is downed.
Kennoy Kennedy comes in on a safety blitz and gets Jones for a two-yard loss. Grossman puts it up for Berrian but puts it up just a little too far. Berrian had his man beat. Grossman, under pressure on 3rd and 12, fires one up high for Berrian cutting in from the left side, Berrian goes up and gets it for the first down. Great, accurate throw where only Berrian could get it, great catch and hold by Berrian. That's the quarter.
Bears 10, Lions 0
SECOND QUARTER
Zevy Reich writes in to point out that the Bears are wearing "away, ugly whites." I hadn't really processed that until he mentioned it. They did it last year in the home opener and it worked out all right. Grossman fires a pass that's almost picked off by Bly, 2nd and 10. Lions blitz, Bears pick it up beautifully, Grossman finds Clark for the first down well into Lions territory. Play fake gives Grossman another 12 years to pass, and he finds a streaking Berrian behind the defense for a 41-yard touchdown. He put it up a little too far again, but Berrian made a great diving catch. Gould nails the PAT. Chris King chimes in again: "17-0, what's with this team?" I don't know, but I enjoy watching it.
Bears 17, Lions 0, 14:24 left in the half
